Wedding Service
This is my usual wedding service. You may customize the service by removing or adding (see below) various elements of the service.
This is my usual wedding service. You may customize the service by removing or adding (see below) various elements of the service.
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In Nantahala ~ the bride arrived by horse-drawn carriage
Music Preludes
Formal Seating of the Mothers
Processional with Music
Formal Seating of the Mothers
Processional with Music
- Minister, Groom, Best Man
- Bridesmaids & Groomsmen
- Maid/Matron of Honor
- Flower Girl and/or Ring Bearer
- Bride (alone or accompanied by Father or other)
Introduction & Lineage:
One of life’s richest experiences occurs in that mystical moment when two life paths cross and then merge to become a relationship so rich and nurturing the lovers are inspired to journey together as husband and wife.
We are here today to bear witness to the evolution of a divine encounter with love that now inspires this man, _______________ and this woman, _______________ to add to their relationship the holy state of matrimony.
As we begin this ceremony, however, let us remember that it is not the law of the land, the doctrine of any religion, the traditions of a society, nor even the fondest expectation of friends and family that creates a genuine joining of a man and a woman. The true wedlock....the sacred union....comes only through the ripening of love freely given and graciously received.
For that reason, ______________ & ______________, it is in your power, and your power alone, to bless this service with the sincerity of your purpose, the strength of your common devotion, and the enduring character of your dedication to the ideas and sentiments we share there today.
Let us acknowledging the lineage....the mothers and fathers, the caregivers, the loved ones who invested their life energy nurturing new life that it might grow and mature to know moments like these. So, with fond remembrance and loving gratitude let us acknowledge the roles played in this event by (parents)(grandparents). Their care and keeping .....their laughter and tears, their willingness to accept and fulfill the challenging role of parenting to the very best of their abilities has nurtured this couple that they might stand here today to experience one of life’s richest moments.
As ___________& ___________ move on to create a new form for their lives as husband and wife, let us not forget that they take with them the unmistakable essence of the roots they grew from.
Who gives this woman into the care and keeping of this man?
Who gives this man into the care and keeping of this woman?
We are here today to bear witness to the evolution of a divine encounter with love that now inspires this man, _______________ and this woman, _______________ to add to their relationship the holy state of matrimony.
As we begin this ceremony, however, let us remember that it is not the law of the land, the doctrine of any religion, the traditions of a society, nor even the fondest expectation of friends and family that creates a genuine joining of a man and a woman. The true wedlock....the sacred union....comes only through the ripening of love freely given and graciously received.
For that reason, ______________ & ______________, it is in your power, and your power alone, to bless this service with the sincerity of your purpose, the strength of your common devotion, and the enduring character of your dedication to the ideas and sentiments we share there today.
Let us acknowledging the lineage....the mothers and fathers, the caregivers, the loved ones who invested their life energy nurturing new life that it might grow and mature to know moments like these. So, with fond remembrance and loving gratitude let us acknowledge the roles played in this event by (parents)(grandparents). Their care and keeping .....their laughter and tears, their willingness to accept and fulfill the challenging role of parenting to the very best of their abilities has nurtured this couple that they might stand here today to experience one of life’s richest moments.
As ___________& ___________ move on to create a new form for their lives as husband and wife, let us not forget that they take with them the unmistakable essence of the roots they grew from.
Who gives this woman into the care and keeping of this man?
Who gives this man into the care and keeping of this woman?
And let us remember how perfectly fitting and appropriate it is that all of us are here today to participate in their wedding. Many of the ideals, as well as the understanding and mutual respect they bring to this marriage, have their roots in the love, the friendship, all the life encounters you have shared with them. Each one of you has touched their lives, in profound or subtle ways, and in the touching, you have added a bit of your own special radiance to the shining star of love we honor in this blessed moment.
As they already exist as One in their own hearts . . . from this day on, let each of us know them as one in our own hearts.
(You may be seated.)
Throughout the memory of the human family, establishing a relationship as husband and wife has been regarded as an act of the highest and holiest nature, a sacred event in the lives of two people.
In this ceremony, we celebrate the flowering of the love that has matured so fully in this couple. We are called together in this lovely setting so they can share with you, their friends and family, the depth of the affection and commitment they have already affirmed to each other.
As they already exist as One in their own hearts . . . from this day on, let each of us know them as one in our own hearts.
(You may be seated.)
Throughout the memory of the human family, establishing a relationship as husband and wife has been regarded as an act of the highest and holiest nature, a sacred event in the lives of two people.
In this ceremony, we celebrate the flowering of the love that has matured so fully in this couple. We are called together in this lovely setting so they can share with you, their friends and family, the depth of the affection and commitment they have already affirmed to each other.
Prayers
Let us share a moment of prayer now as we acknowledge the eternal presence of the Holy Spirit of God working in and through every moment of our lives. Let us remember always, to acknowledge with perfect fidelity the eternal Presence of Spirit that gives life to all creation....including this couple and the love they share with each other.
Divine Source of all Creation, we ask your blessing on this couple as they begin their journey of life together.
We pray for harmony and creativity, as well as love and laughter to continue to fill this new dimension of relationship that ____________ &_____________ have chosen. We pray for abundant joy for them to share with all the people who touch their lives.
We pray for their home that it may be a sanctuary for all that is peaceful and loving and nourishing to the human spirit.
As they share the richer experiences of life, may their hearts and minds and souls be woven ever more closely together. And, yet, at the same time, allow their bond of togetherness to strengthen and encourage the free expression of their individual natures.
May they carry the past with them as a gentle friend and a wise counselor all the years of their togetherness. And may they always have the trust and faith and understanding to create a future full of abundant health, love, laughter, and friendship.
May they always be guided by their senses.... a sense of wonder, a sense of the oneness and sacredness of all life, a sense of appreciation and respect for each other, a sense of integrity and honesty in all they say and do . . . and, perhaps most important of all, a sense of humor to bring them back to remembering the joy that is always possible in the divine gift of life.
May God’s Light and Love and Peace and Joy be with ____________ &____________ as their journey of love unfolds. And so it is. Amen.
Optional Music (good time for "The Lord's Prayer")
Divine Source of all Creation, we ask your blessing on this couple as they begin their journey of life together.
We pray for harmony and creativity, as well as love and laughter to continue to fill this new dimension of relationship that ____________ &_____________ have chosen. We pray for abundant joy for them to share with all the people who touch their lives.
We pray for their home that it may be a sanctuary for all that is peaceful and loving and nourishing to the human spirit.
As they share the richer experiences of life, may their hearts and minds and souls be woven ever more closely together. And, yet, at the same time, allow their bond of togetherness to strengthen and encourage the free expression of their individual natures.
May they carry the past with them as a gentle friend and a wise counselor all the years of their togetherness. And may they always have the trust and faith and understanding to create a future full of abundant health, love, laughter, and friendship.
May they always be guided by their senses.... a sense of wonder, a sense of the oneness and sacredness of all life, a sense of appreciation and respect for each other, a sense of integrity and honesty in all they say and do . . . and, perhaps most important of all, a sense of humor to bring them back to remembering the joy that is always possible in the divine gift of life.
May God’s Light and Love and Peace and Joy be with ____________ &____________ as their journey of love unfolds. And so it is. Amen.
Optional Music (good time for "The Lord's Prayer")
Comments on Marriage
A harmonious relationship has a pattern much like the dance, and is built on some of the same principles. The partners do not need to hold onto each other tightly because they move confidently and freely to the melody of love playing in their hearts. To touch heavily would be to arrest the pattern and freeze the movement, spoiling the endlessly changing beauty of its spontaneously unfolding perfection. There is no place in the dance of love for possessive clutching, the clinging arm, the heavy hand. Only the faintest touch in passing is needed to keep the lovers in their pattern of liberated Oneness.
First arm in arm....next face to face....then back to back....it does not matter which because they both know and feel themselves moving to the same rhythm, creating a spacious freedom for their souls to grow in, weaving an elegant tapestry of love and being infinitely nourished by the process.
The quality of your marriage will be determined by the effort and willingness that each of you bring to nurturing this relationship. You have the opportunity to create a relationship of trust, kindness, mutual growth, and support, as you share the joys and challenges of life.
Each of you is whole and complete on your own, and now you freely choose to share your thoughts, your feelings, your daily livings with each other. Each of you is rich in experience....ripe and full of the knowing and growing you bring to this moment.
You are, at the same time, separate and touching.... equal, but not the same. Your differences are the seeds for your growth. Your relationship can help you to be strong....strong enough to allow yourselves to be vulnerable....to be open and receptive to the full measure of experience your union can bring.
Remember, only the willing heart is spacious enough to contain the full cup of love God has set before you. Drink deeply of your togetherness, drink freely, drink fearlessly and enjoy the grace.
We wish for you the wisdom, compassion, gratitude, and constancy to create a peaceful sanctuary in which you both can grow in love.
It is up to you to keep the blessings flowing each and every day of your lives together.
Consider the song and let your togetherness reflect its wise and liberating sentiment . . .
Optional Music: "It Takes All of Me"
First arm in arm....next face to face....then back to back....it does not matter which because they both know and feel themselves moving to the same rhythm, creating a spacious freedom for their souls to grow in, weaving an elegant tapestry of love and being infinitely nourished by the process.
The quality of your marriage will be determined by the effort and willingness that each of you bring to nurturing this relationship. You have the opportunity to create a relationship of trust, kindness, mutual growth, and support, as you share the joys and challenges of life.
Each of you is whole and complete on your own, and now you freely choose to share your thoughts, your feelings, your daily livings with each other. Each of you is rich in experience....ripe and full of the knowing and growing you bring to this moment.
You are, at the same time, separate and touching.... equal, but not the same. Your differences are the seeds for your growth. Your relationship can help you to be strong....strong enough to allow yourselves to be vulnerable....to be open and receptive to the full measure of experience your union can bring.
Remember, only the willing heart is spacious enough to contain the full cup of love God has set before you. Drink deeply of your togetherness, drink freely, drink fearlessly and enjoy the grace.
We wish for you the wisdom, compassion, gratitude, and constancy to create a peaceful sanctuary in which you both can grow in love.
It is up to you to keep the blessings flowing each and every day of your lives together.
Consider the song and let your togetherness reflect its wise and liberating sentiment . . .
Optional Music: "It Takes All of Me"
Vows
____________, do you take ____________ to be your wedded wife, to love her, to honor her, to nurture her body and spirit, and to always be unto her a true and faithful husband through all the days of your togetherness?
____________, do you take ____________ to be your wedded husband, to love him, to honor him, to nurture his body and spirit, and to always be unto him a true and faithful wife through all the days of your togetherness?
Ring Vows
The circle is the symbol of many things . . . the sun and the earth and the Universe. It is a symbol of holiness and perfection and peace. In the form of these rings the circle becomes a symbol of your unity, a blessed togetherness that will always lead you, no matter how far you travel, back to the wholeness of the love you are pledging to each other in this moment.
Let these rings be a sign and token to the world of the special world you now move on to share with each other....a joyous world....a happy, healthy world....a gentle, quiet world that belongs to you and you alone.
"With this ring I thee wed,
And with it, I pledge to thee
All the treasures of my mind, heart and hands."
OR
"With this ring, I thee wed,
And with it, I give you my heart."
____________, do you take ____________ to be your wedded husband, to love him, to honor him, to nurture his body and spirit, and to always be unto him a true and faithful wife through all the days of your togetherness?
Ring Vows
The circle is the symbol of many things . . . the sun and the earth and the Universe. It is a symbol of holiness and perfection and peace. In the form of these rings the circle becomes a symbol of your unity, a blessed togetherness that will always lead you, no matter how far you travel, back to the wholeness of the love you are pledging to each other in this moment.
Let these rings be a sign and token to the world of the special world you now move on to share with each other....a joyous world....a happy, healthy world....a gentle, quiet world that belongs to you and you alone.
"With this ring I thee wed,
And with it, I pledge to thee
All the treasures of my mind, heart and hands."
OR
"With this ring, I thee wed,
And with it, I give you my heart."
The Pronouncement
~ The Pronouncement ~
Something wonderful has just occurred, for these two lives are now joined.
By the authority vested in me by the State of North Carolina,
and in the name of the Holy Spirit of Love that performs all true marriages,
I now pronounce you (husband and wife) (life partners) (married).
~ The Kiss ~
Present the couple as married for the first time (announcing their new names)
Recessional Musical Blessing: "Go In Love"
Invitation to the Reception
Recessional Music
Something wonderful has just occurred, for these two lives are now joined.
By the authority vested in me by the State of North Carolina,
and in the name of the Holy Spirit of Love that performs all true marriages,
I now pronounce you (husband and wife) (life partners) (married).
~ The Kiss ~
Present the couple as married for the first time (announcing their new names)
Recessional Musical Blessing: "Go In Love"
Invitation to the Reception
Recessional Music
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Wedding service ©1983 Rev. Chad O'Shea & Lois Henrickson
This service typically lasts for 15-20 minutes, from the beginning of the Processional, and depending on what music or extra readings are added. "Our Lake Cottage Wedding", Lake Lure, 2018 "Lois Henrickson (Lyte) performed our Sept 22nd wedding ceremony at Lake Lure and it was a fabulous experience. We edited some of the vows she provided and added a few of our own. Lyte presented with a very gentle and calming demeanor which was very beneficial and appreciated to help us through the ceremony. Our wedding would not have been the same without her. Thank You, Lyte, for being a part of our special day." ~ Lu & Ron "We are having a very eclectic ceremony and you were kind enough to offer to let us edit your written ceremony into ours... We are very happy with it. Your words were exactly what we needed to make our ceremony flow from one thing to another and at the same time be full of our intentions and the meaning we hope our ceremony to have." ~ Melissa & Ryan 
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Optional Additions to the Service
- Personal Vows / Sentiments spoken or read to each other
- Loving Hands: "Please take each other by the hands.
These are the hands of your best friend as you promise to love each other all the days of your life. These are the hands that will work together as you build your future and make your dreams a reality. These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, that will give you strength during the storms and stresses of life. These are the hands that will share the joys and happiness of the life you build together. These are the hands whose touch will express your passion, the hands that will cherish you all through the years. May you always hold each other in loving hands." - Unity Candle: The two mothers light the two side candles during their formal seating. The couple light the center candle from the side candles, symbolizing the joining of the two lineages into one.
- "I invite you now to move to the candles... _________, take the candle on the left - _________, take the candle on the right... Let these candles represent the light of the separate lineages you have come from. Each of you is a reflection of the love of your respective parents. Out of their love came the two of you and, now, out of your love for each other the two of you become one... Join the candles now and celebrate your union."
- Sand Ceremony: Two vessels of colored sand are poured together by the couple into a center vessel, symbolizing the joining of two into one.
- Family Vows: Joining a blended family, as the children and parents vow to accept and honor each other.
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Poem, Short Reading, or a favorite Scripture
1 CORINTHIANS 13: Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not love in my heart, I am become as sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not love in my heart, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not love in my heart, I gain nothing. Love is long suffering and kind; love does not envy; love does not make a vain display of itself, and does not boast. Love does not behave itself unseemly, seeks not its own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil. Rejoices not over iniquity, but rejoices in the truth. Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails; but whether there be prophesies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is imperfect shall come to an end. When I was a a child, I spoke as a a child, I understood as a child. I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a mirror, darkly; but then face to face. Now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. Kahlil Gibran passage on Marriage from The Prophet: Then Almitra spoke again and said, "And what of Marriage, master?" And he answered saying: "You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore. You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days. Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God. But let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow." This Marriage - by Rumi
May these vows and this marriage be blessed. May it be sweet milk, this marriage, like wine and halvah. May this marriage offer fruit and shade like the date palm. May this marriage be full of laughter, our every day a day in paradise. May this marriage be a sign of compassion, a seal of happiness here and hereafter. May this marriage have a fair face and a good name, an omen as welcomes the moon in a clear blue sky. I am out of words to describe how spirit mingles in this marriage. |
Native American blessings
Apache
"Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years. May happiness be your companion and your days together be good and long upon the earth." "Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficulties and fear assail your relationship, as they threaten all relationships at one time or another, remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong. In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives -- remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there. And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight." .
Cherokee
"God in heaven above please protect the ones we love. We honor all you created as we pledge our hearts and lives together. We honor Mother Earth and ask for our marriage to be abundant and grow stronger through the seasons. We honor fire and ask that our union be warm and glowing with love in our hearts. We honor wind and ask that we sail through life safe and calm as in our father's arms. We honor water to clean and soothe our relationship -- that it may never thirst for love. With all the forces of the universe you created, we pray for harmony as we grow forever young together. Amen." |
Why does the bride stand on the left and the groom on the right?This tradition dates back to the Middle Ages - to keep the groom’s right hand (“fighting arm” or “sword arm”) free to defend his bride should an enemy try to steal her away at the last minute. If any attacker made it past the groomsmen at the altar, the groom would hold his bride with his left hand, while using his sword with his right hand against any oncoming attackers.
Why the third finger on the left hand?
In ancient times the Romans believed that the vein in the ring finger (the fourth finger) on the left hand ran directly to one's heart. Because of this belief, they called that vein the "vena amoris" or vein of love. Naturally, to solidify a union based on love, they'd place the ring on that finger that housed the vein of love to signify the romance the newly married couple shares.
Just before the ceremony, the engagement ring should be moved to the right hand to allow for the wedding ring. The wedding band traditionally goes on the left-hand ring finger first, nearest the heart, with the engagement ring stacking on top.
Why the third finger on the left hand?
In ancient times the Romans believed that the vein in the ring finger (the fourth finger) on the left hand ran directly to one's heart. Because of this belief, they called that vein the "vena amoris" or vein of love. Naturally, to solidify a union based on love, they'd place the ring on that finger that housed the vein of love to signify the romance the newly married couple shares.
Just before the ceremony, the engagement ring should be moved to the right hand to allow for the wedding ring. The wedding band traditionally goes on the left-hand ring finger first, nearest the heart, with the engagement ring stacking on top.
